One Liners

One of the requirements for our Laboratory reports is citing the sources of errors of our experiment. Instead of doing so, I wrote there, "Why would I admit my mistakes?"

During the first day of classes, my teacher handed out index cards and told us to write the name we wanted to be called so I wrote there, "The emperor of the world" :P

My teacher gave me a Philosophy book, an orange hi-lighter and told me to hi-light the statements I couldn't understand. The next day, he looked at the book and said, "I don't remember giving you a book with orange pages!"