Aphrodisiac Anonymous: Necessity of Pain

Common sense tells us that we must seek convenience, pleasure and satisfaction and avoid pain. It is instinctive that we minimize all these unpleasant experiences of ours to the point that we try to prevent that unpleasant experience from ever happening. We run away even before pain is realized. This concept may work for certain fields like economics but is that always the case?

Picture yourself in this situation: You've just been through your worst relationship ever. Breakups are just the tip of the iceberg. The real pain comes along after that event. You wallow so much in your sorrow that you lock ourselves up from the outside world. You feel so beaten up that you want everyone to look on us with pity. This is just normal for any self-respecting human being. But what we often fail to do is to let go of this pain.

This is not mean that we should completely ignore it and act as if nothing happened. If we take a good hard look on that past, we could even learn from them. Pardon the cliche but this is like learning from our mistakes. Often times we are just too overwhelmed by the pain that we see only the scars and not the important things underlying them. These bad experiences of ours can serve as avenues for us to learn. It's easy to say but difficult to do because it's not a science. There is no standardized methodology in learning from our pain. In the end it's all up to you. Learning is never automatic and neither is it a guarantee.

It's true that we can learn from our mistakes. But this does not mean that we should pursuit reckless relationships in the hopes that we can learn from them. Then the essence of authentic love and relationship would be gone. All I'm saying is that we should not dismiss breakups and heartaches as experiences that will absolutely so is no good.